Aftermath

by - 4:15 PM

Well all I can say is I am still in the process of moving on. There are still times when all I want to do is cry. There were times when my eyes started welling up and tears fell down from my eyes even at public places. It's like a post traumatic disorder that distracts me every now and then. I just wanted to have an amnesia to suppress all the pain that I am still experiencing. I don't want memories of him,good or bad. So I deleted him in my social networking accounts. I clean up my room and throw everything that would remind me of him. Pictures, letters, gifts, scrap books, concert and movie tickets found their new place in the trash bin. There is no use in keeping those stuffs because everytime I see them, I feel lost and the pain is so intense that I just wanted to get away with it. It's like adding insult to the injury so instead of keeping all those things, I decided to get rid of them. Seeing there pictures in FS is *^#$%@!!~. I can't find the adjective that would best describe the pain, the bitterness and the betrayal that I felt. I was staring at my monitor, frozen for a moment. That was too much to digest. All I wanted is to see him happy even if I am not the special someone who makes him happy. But I am just human. It's not that I don't want him to be happy, it's just that I am still in the pool of loneliness. I really did my best but I guess it was not good enough to make him stay. I was left with no alternative but to move on. And I am doing all the things just as so I can feel better the soonest possible time. Pero bakit ang hirap?



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